i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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