I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
