He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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