Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
