we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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