PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
