it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Blood and glitter go together right?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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