But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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