Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
