In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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