So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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