I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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