ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
