Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
