she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
