Umm I'm too high to move.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
