Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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