Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
