You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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