Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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