...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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