We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
