Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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