i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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