do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
