i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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