WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
