Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Randomize
