ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
