but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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