I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Randomize
