you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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