you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
