Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
