508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
