oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
