Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
