no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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