Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
