I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
