I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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