My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
