1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
