if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
