AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
