Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
