so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
