Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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