That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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