Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
