I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
