So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i've created a new STD.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
